#42 Is in the mail

Friday, I finally got Lily's birthday plate sent to her, along with her Christmas present. I have only had her plate done since last April. Miss Lily should get her package Monday or Tuesday! So, cross #42 off the list! TTFN, Diva

#92 done... sort of

After the debacle with the first pair of CFMB's I was a little bitter and very discouraged. All I wanted was a pair of CFMB's. What's so difficult about that, why should it be so hard? Other women manage to get a pair of CFMB's, cut a girl with thick calves some slack. Why do girls with thin calves get to have all the fun?

I got back on the shoe horse and found another pair of CFMB that were guaranteed to fit. I wasn't holding my breath because the last pair was supposed to fit. I am accustomed to disappointment when it comes to CFMB's. The new pair of boots arrived on Friday. I took them out of the box and when I put the first one on, it wouldn't zip. RUFKM? WTH? Are the CFMB gods just against me or what? Do they not want a girl with thick calves to let some hottie know it's okay to CFM?

I was completely bitter by this time. Really, why is finding a pair of CFMB's so hard? I tried the other boot on and the stupid thing zipped up. WTF? One will zip up and the other one won't? Is there that big of a difference in my calves? I was convinced I was just a big freak with massive calves who will never get a pair of CFMB's.

I guess I was glutton for punishment because I thought I should try the other boot on again. I tugged and pulled and prayed and by the grace of some higher being, the stupid boot zipped up! You've got to be kidding me. What was different the second time I tried on the boot as opposed to the first? Did I somehow shave some minute millimeter off my calf in the last five minutes? What ever. It made no sense whatsoever.

So, I have a pair of CFMB's but I am not sure if I am going to keep them. I think they don't look so great on my legs. Most of it is because I hate my legs and the other part is that my calves are so thick nothing looks good on them, other than covering them up. I was seriously considering emptying a bank account to finance some lipo on my calves because that was the only option I had, over than literally slicing off part of my calves, which could be messy and rather painful. I put the boots back in the box to decide whether I should keep them until later.

Well, I went to see the sports med doctor Monday because I messed up my knee back in August. I asked him how much of my calves was fat and how much was muscle. Surprisingly enough, he said my calves have a large amount of muscle and very little fat. Finally, a part of my body with more muscle than fat. He said I can thin out my muscle, but for the most part, I will never have cute, dainty calves like all the other girls. I have the calves of a pro-bowl linebacker, which will serve me well when I am stuck in the mountains while competing on Survivor Ireland... yes, there are mountains in Ireland, however, it means I will never be a footwear model. Oh well, there is more to life than modeling shoes. The sports med doctor saved me from having lipo that wouldn't have done anything for me.

I am still on the fence about the CFMB's. I will let you know how things turn out. But for now, I am crossing it off my list. TTFN, Diva

#66 Cross it off-- I'm a paid artist now!

I crossed off #66 yesterday after I sold my first piece of pottery! I am in the process of selling two more pieces next week, too. Hopefully, I can make a little extra money from my little "side" business.

Bitter Party of One

I've been all excited about getting my CFMB's for the last week. I was a little peeved when the FedEx tracking info said they were in the same city as me on Tuesday and yet, I wasn't scheduled to get them until Saturday. Are you serious? Why did it take from Tuesday to Saturday for them to get to me? I know Thanksgiving happened in there, but they sat in some warehouse here in town from Tuesday until Saturday. Since I had them delivered to the office and we are closed on Saturdays, I had to wait until today to get them. I couldn't contain myself. I was waiting with baited breath waiting for the mail girl to come around with her cart. The big box arrived and I tore into it with wreckless abandon. The boots were beautiful! All shiny and definitely CFM worthy! I slipped the right one on my foot and I knew instantly things were not going to work out. Even though the Web site promised these boots would fit my thick (aka FAT) calves, they are big fat, heinous liars because they didn't fit me! I was mad. I was beyond mad, I was bitter. Yes, bitter party of one, yes you with the fat calves, your table is now available!

I boxed the boots back up and put the return shipping tag on them. I am a little bitter about the fact that I have to pay for the return shipping on the boots! Had the web site just given the correct measurements, I wouldn't have ordered the boots in the first place. In order to get the boots to fit, I would have needed to order a 12... I wear a 9. Yeah, not really gonna work. So, no CFMB's for me.

On a brighter note, I got to feed the ducks today. I brought home some stale bagels from the office. The ducks loved them. So, one time down, four more to go. Feeding the ducks made me a little less bitter about my boots, but it didn't completely erase my bitterness. I will take my thick calves and search for some boots for my thick-ass calves. TTFN, Diva